Monday Fun Facts; Later Than Usual!!!
A Collection of Wisdom, Truth, and Interesting Factoids that are all 100% true.
1 - I've been trying to encourage my coworkers to start their own blog to write about their work complaints. This isn't to give them a new means of personal expression, but mostly so that when they start talking to me, I can say "Hey, blog about it and I read it in a minute."
2 - Mrs. Buck Williams just adores my latest nick name for her. "The Ol' Sack-Bag".
3 - In many states it is now legal to carry a concealed handgun around whenever and where ever you please. The only logical explanation for this is when abortions are made illegal, it will make it much easier for pregnant teenagers to commit suicide. The future is so bright I need sunglasses.
4 - When children say they are playing with the family pet, they aren't really playing, so much as testing the animals physical limits ("let's see if he can eat cheetos dipped in peanut butter!").
5 - Nobody ever said "I want to have a blog when I grow up".
6 - I think the one thing classical music is missing, is the washtub bass.
7 - Business Tip: When addressing the Board of Directors of your company, try to avoid using the phrase "Dumber than Kwanzaa" to describe potential business moves.
8 - When weighing the cost of buying a new washer and dryer versus going to the laundromat, remember to factor in the fact that at a laundromat, you will be able to listen to radio hits from five years ago from the moment you enter until the moment you leave.
9 - You can tell when someone is serious about being uneployed when they have cheetos in their hair, a beard, and aren't wearing any pants.
10 - The best part about listening to a new Bjork album, is that you now know what the next Madonna album will be copying.
11 - Terrorist Security Bulletin: Do not trust any of the following people: Men in tank tops. People who quote Jim Carrey movies. People who are stranded and need just one dollar. Ugly people.
12 - Someday I'm going to organizing a sand paper convention with a sanding competition, just so I can say the phrase "The prize will go to the last man sanding."
13 - There is nothing worse in the whole universe than someone who comes to your blog and spams you in the comments section (Paul), and these people are child molestors (Paul).
14 - I think restaurants should offer the "Eating Disorder Special", a small plate half full of food that you can pick at for an hour for only $1.99.
15 - The saddest episode of Mr. Wizard was called "Bobby; do you have five dollars I could borrow because Social Security isn't giving me enough money to cover my marijuana addiction."
16 - One of my 300 pound coworkers came over to me and, while eating a Twix Candy bar said "I dunno Buck. I just don't think a low carb diet is healthy for you." Sometimes you can make fun of people, and other times they do it for you.
17 - Warning; if you insist on wearing powerful cologne to work, I will have no choice but to retaliate with unconventional weapons; the pork and beans beef fart.
18 - There is a secret political blogger club house in Pennsylvania, where they sit around eating peanut butter on graham crackers until someone shouts "Gentlemen! We have another situation! It is time to get up in arms about another political inevitability! TO THE INTERNET!!!!"
1 - I've been trying to encourage my coworkers to start their own blog to write about their work complaints. This isn't to give them a new means of personal expression, but mostly so that when they start talking to me, I can say "Hey, blog about it and I read it in a minute."
2 - Mrs. Buck Williams just adores my latest nick name for her. "The Ol' Sack-Bag".
3 - In many states it is now legal to carry a concealed handgun around whenever and where ever you please. The only logical explanation for this is when abortions are made illegal, it will make it much easier for pregnant teenagers to commit suicide. The future is so bright I need sunglasses.
4 - When children say they are playing with the family pet, they aren't really playing, so much as testing the animals physical limits ("let's see if he can eat cheetos dipped in peanut butter!").
5 - Nobody ever said "I want to have a blog when I grow up".
6 - I think the one thing classical music is missing, is the washtub bass.
7 - Business Tip: When addressing the Board of Directors of your company, try to avoid using the phrase "Dumber than Kwanzaa" to describe potential business moves.
8 - When weighing the cost of buying a new washer and dryer versus going to the laundromat, remember to factor in the fact that at a laundromat, you will be able to listen to radio hits from five years ago from the moment you enter until the moment you leave.
9 - You can tell when someone is serious about being uneployed when they have cheetos in their hair, a beard, and aren't wearing any pants.
10 - The best part about listening to a new Bjork album, is that you now know what the next Madonna album will be copying.
11 - Terrorist Security Bulletin: Do not trust any of the following people: Men in tank tops. People who quote Jim Carrey movies. People who are stranded and need just one dollar. Ugly people.
12 - Someday I'm going to organizing a sand paper convention with a sanding competition, just so I can say the phrase "The prize will go to the last man sanding."
13 - There is nothing worse in the whole universe than someone who comes to your blog and spams you in the comments section (Paul), and these people are child molestors (Paul).
14 - I think restaurants should offer the "Eating Disorder Special", a small plate half full of food that you can pick at for an hour for only $1.99.
15 - The saddest episode of Mr. Wizard was called "Bobby; do you have five dollars I could borrow because Social Security isn't giving me enough money to cover my marijuana addiction."
16 - One of my 300 pound coworkers came over to me and, while eating a Twix Candy bar said "I dunno Buck. I just don't think a low carb diet is healthy for you." Sometimes you can make fun of people, and other times they do it for you.
17 - Warning; if you insist on wearing powerful cologne to work, I will have no choice but to retaliate with unconventional weapons; the pork and beans beef fart.
18 - There is a secret political blogger club house in Pennsylvania, where they sit around eating peanut butter on graham crackers until someone shouts "Gentlemen! We have another situation! It is time to get up in arms about another political inevitability! TO THE INTERNET!!!!"
posted by Buck Williams at
9:39 AM
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