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Friday, June 22, 2007

Since I Can't Resist an Anonymous Request...

Here are some Monday Fun Facts, Courtesy of Friday.


1 - Office Farts are the most magical farts in the world.

2 - If we're going to be politically correct, I think we should stop calling people "stupid" and start calling them "future assistent managers".

3 - This just in, owning a home isn't just for the rich anymore, it's also for middle class people who want to be in debt for the rest of their lives.

4 - If the internet was a country, it would be "I'mboredsowhere'sthepornistan"

5 - Rich white guy in 2008; you got no choice...

6 - If my coworkers decided to pull a prank, and replace my cubicle with a refrigerator box, I bet I wouldn't notice the difference.

7 - People who go on message boards are clearly deficient in the mineral angry nerd.

8 - Why do customer's who are dick's think it's a real threat to go be a dick in some other store if they don't get their way?

9 - When in a formal dining situation, it is not considered polite to use your neighbor's wine glass as a spitoon.

10 - The public mailbox sitting at the corner of the street by my house is acually 75% more useful than an actual postal service employee.

11 - Dear Virgin Mary that just appeared in my pancakes. You should have picked a morning I was less hungry, because I'm about to perform the miracle of breakfast.

12 - When did straight edge take on the moniker "No Drugs, No Alcohol, No Deoderant"?

13 - Most people don't know that I'm actually a writer as well as a blogger. but it's mostly Hello Kitty fan fiction.

14 - If hell is your own personal misery, then my hell is having to eat at Wendy's everyday, but the Frosty Machine is out of order.

15 - A new survey of american offices will show you that the new american dream is petty lunch theft and flash games.

16 - Gardening is the world's most ingenius marketing campaign. How else would you convince normal people to pay money for bags of poop?

17 - Mathflakes, the most boring cereal ever. Now with extra cosine!!!

18 - Remember Gerald Ford? Yea, me neither...

19 - Life actually boils down to a simple equation. X equals you, and X also equals stupid.

20 - The entire contents of my new book "How to care for a Hamster" (spoiler alert!) "Put it in a box or something".

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